1.24.2013

honesty.

[the site of the story]


This past Saturday, hubs and I went out to coffee for our weekly husband-wife bible study / catch up on life time.  It's my favorite time of the week.

Sometimes, though, there are things that need to be said that are not easy to hear.

Last Saturday, in the most loving way, my husband pointed out one of my flaws to me.  As a husband who is supposed to sharpen me and help me get better, it was so hard to hear.  Then at Community Group last night we talked about women needing to point out to other women when they are behaving inappropriately, or irreverently.  It's so hard to do to friends and so hard to hear from friends, but it is oh so important.

I respect this man so much for wanting me to glorify God in a greater way and for trusting me enough to openly and honestly tell me that there is an area in my life that needs attention and improvement.

The worst part?

That area has to do with being all about myself.  I have this bad habit of answering the question "how was your day?" with a long string of events about MY day, while neglecting to then ask, "how was YOUR day?".  I leave people hanging as if my life's events are the only ones relevant.  Maybe it's a difference in expectations (i.e. I expect people to just say oh man!  that's cray!  here's what happened to me, while Matt waits to be asked how his day was).

But that's not the point.

The point is that I need to show people with my words that I value them more than I value myself.

Ugh.  A hard thing to embrace and accept as a flaw.  But there it is.  Raw.  God wants us to be changed and be bettered by our spouses.  Wives - I encourage you to let them strengthen you.
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8 comments:

  1. It is so good that you and your hubby have a weekly Bible study like that together...even if difficult things have to be discussed. I really want to do that with my hubs!

    This will make your marriage so much more fruitful!

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  2. that is challenging but i think that is why we have those types of relationships that we are able to communicate with one another to understand both sets of needs. just think of it as a work in progress..and it keeps on getting better!

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  3. Love this post, it's so true that the strongest friendships/relationships are built when you can be brutally honest with one another, in a loving way, to help each other grow. I would say that's the sign of a solid, Christ-centered marriage right there! :)

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  4. I am very impressed by how open and honest you two are. I think that most couples aren't as comfortable having conversations like this. I was thinking about it and I know a lot of people who do not day "How was your day?" in return. I think it has become a cultural thing to just assume that people will somehow react and then tell you about their day. I wonder if that is becoming a new norm? I will be on the lookout for my own bad habits now.

    -Emily

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  5. I respect you so much for posting this, and I love that you both strive to sharpen one another to the Glory of God in your marriage. Man, if one thing is true about marriage, it is that it slaps you in the face with your sin. But praise God for that, because when we see how big our sin is, we see a bigger need for a savior.

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  6. Hi! I don't usually comment that much on all the blogs I read, but I just wanted to say to you what a TREASURE it is to have people who will show you who you really are and help you become more like Jesus. I am surrounded by lots of people like this myself, and am so blessed! We are so blessed! Love your blog--and you! :)

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  7. it takes a humble wife to be able to hear those kinds of things from her hubby, without being defensive about it. :)

    i recognize that view in the picture, by the way. and it was great having you guys at group!

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  8. What a loving husband you have! I was in a Bible-based internship in St. Louis for a couple of years - We had these small ISI group (ISI stands for Iron Sharpens Iron) where we would fellowship and basically edify and encourage each other. From that I really have found the importance of a close group that can point out areas of my life where I am not glorifying God. It is almost never easy to hear but so so important. Thank you for sharing :)

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