Dear sinus infection.

Reasons why sinus infections suck:

1) Well there's your obvious reasons, like having your head feel like it is literally growing a unicorn's horn because... that's just how bad it hurts.
...then there's things like making your husband feel your head to make sure you actually don't have some mysterious lump that is growing...

2)  Not being able to do a darned thing.  Yesterday was the first day of my spring break, and I spent it thinking about everything I want and need to do instead of doing it.  So.  Lame.

3) Except for something I did do.  I worked from 7-12 yesterday.  Normally, thas coo.  But yesterday I actually whimpered a little bit to myself while I was on my break, because I was so pathetically sick and didn't want to say anything.

4) Being incapable of taking naps because your head hurts too bad.
.... except for when I did fall asleep for a minute and drooled like 8oz of saliva onto our nice blanket because my nose doesn't pass air through it right now, so obviously I sleep like a slob with my mouth dangling wide open...

Reasons why sinus infections are awesome:

1) My husband is a HEROOO!!!!!!  I came home from work at noon to a "Fort of Healing", which included a fort sign (obviously.  It even had a flag drawn on it), blankets were like Occupy Living Room Floor along with their pillow supporters, and a new magazine to read before I relaxed into my drool-sleep.

2)  My husband takes number 1 and number 2 under the "RWSIAA" (see large bold lettering) category. Anyway.  Not only did he prepared the healing fort, he was at my disposal all day.  He ran and got me natural antibiotics (oregano oil pills!), thai food (spicy! to cleanse the sinuses), and brought me anything I needed.  Water, steam bowls, ibuprofen, snuggles, googly eyes......... I think you get the point.
My words: "I'm sorry I'm so sick and boring..."
His words: "You're not sick and boring.  You're just sweet Nat."
That guy...

3) Moments I get to experience that I wouldn't get to experience otherwise.  I.e., the GIANT fart my husband ripped tonight.
Matt: Whoooaaaa!!!! (looking straight into my eyes about 2 inches away, devilishly excited) That might have literally been the biggest fart of my whole life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (And it was certainly the loudest and longest I'd ever heard)
Me: Hm.  I can't smell anything.
After Matt realized my sense of smell was 100% disabled....
Matt:  This is the greatest.

4) Watching neti pot videos with my husband.  And watching him get immediately so excited that he walked without hesitation into the kitchen to try pouring water into one nostril only to feel it come out the other.

5)  The natural antibiotics listed earlier.  Is that even a thing???  I guess so.

6) Sitting down in the shower.  And showering just to shower for the steam.  Really, I was pathetically weak.  But really, if we're being honest here.... sitting down in the shower is pretty bomb.

7)  Using an entire box of kleenexes, followed by an entire role of toilet paper all in one day.  This is listed under reasons of awesomeness because it is just plain comical.

So there.  Now that my feelings on sinus infections are out there......
Bite me, little infection.  Bite me.  We're over.

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1 comment:

  1. This was funny. And I hope your sinus infection is over, too.