For entertainment purposes.... what follows is one of my FAVORITE messages I ever received from Matt. Hopefully he will be okay with me sharing this.
Ok...i hate the dentist...always have, always will...today i had to go and get some fillings that i had been putting off since 2009...here are some reasons why i hate the dentist:
1) they try to have a conversation with me...but i cannot speak with their hands in my mouth...so they start throwing possible answers out there...something like this: "so what do you do again for work? Pharmacy? Pharmacist? Pharacologljflasd? Drugs?"...and they wait for me to go "mmmhuh" (followed by a violent swallow)...anyway, none of their possible answers are ever correct so after like the third one i just concur
2) my body is uncontrollably tense the ENTIRE time...doesn't matter if it's a cleaning, a filling, a root canal, x-rays, or just looking in my mouth with the tiny mirror...i try to calm myself and mentally relax all my muscles, but every attempt fails and i wind up in a full body flex 20 seconds later...not even realizing i was falling back into my default position
3) they either numb me too much (like right now) so that i can't even function till early afternoon...OR they don't numb me enough and i get even more tense as i brace for the nerve piercing moment that i just KNOW is coming
4) my mouth smells and tastes funny for the rest of the day...it's not "bad" breath or "musty" breath or "funky" breath...it's like "robot" breath...or at least what i would expect a robot's breath to smell and taste like
5) the bib needs to be reconfigured because it never catches all the splattering...seriously, has no entrepreneur started solving this yet? we've been going with the pink, slippery-fabric square for like 50 years...and that chain they connect with the two alligator clips allows for the thing to slide wherever it wants...i feel like the thing they put on when you get a haircut or even a dickey would be superior to the pink thing...that being said, i should not have worn my dress shirt in today
6) music selection is too quiet and too crappy
7) my dentist has terrible coffee breath aimed DIRectly at my nose
okkkkkk, sorry i went on like that...just, the thing is i've been numb since 8am...and it's 11!!!!
whatever, i'm gonna go in and get a coffee jamba...maybe be able to suck since i cannot chew...plus it will get my caffeine fix for the day